Blooming
THE AWAKENINIG: When winter finally melts.
There is always a moment in a woman’s becoming when the flower remembers how to bloom.
For so long, I lived in a kind of stillness that wasn’t rest. A pause that wasn’t peace. I was doing everything I needed to do, mothering, partnering and holding on yet inside I felt like I was watching my own life through glass. Present but not in it. Awake but not alive. My life was surrounded with beautiful chaos while my insides were nothing near chaos but frozen.
Then came the slap.
Not a literal physical one but an energetic one. A soul jolt. A shockwave. A sudden, undeniable awakening that hit me so clean and hard I couldn’t go back to sleep inside myself.
It felt like someone grabbed me and said:
“Wake up. You’re still here. You’re meant for more.”
That moment something bloomed.
THE MELT BEGINS
The transformation didn’t arrive as a dramatic rebirth. It arrived as a pure tempest.
Fast yet slow. Honest. Real.
I found myself reaching for creativity again. Pottery classes, clay under my nails. The hum of the wheel. The kind of messiness that feels like happiness. I started designing, letting the colors and shapes speak to me. The one thing I’ve always loved, my fingers against the keys. Words that’s been stuck for so long. Writing.
I started learning again. Tiny steps towards the person I am becoming.
It’s not glamourous. Not linear. It was water flow rushing, dripping, evaporating, and returning. But it was movement. And movement is a prayer being answered.
MAGIC
The awakening didn’t nudge me; it shoves me into a new chapter. A new reality. A new me.
It made me ask the question I had lost all hopes for.
“What do I actually want….is this all there is to me?”
I had been building for everyone else except for myself.
I know I had dreams buried deep under diapers, dishes, exhaustion and self-doubt.
I thought my voice was gone but it was waiting.
And I realized I was allowed to begin again.
SUMMER IS PRESENT
Today I’m in my bloom phase.
*A creative business that feels like home.
*A life that reflects who I am now not who I had to be.
*A home full of kids, sweet chaos, softness and growth.
* A version of myself that feels like me, is me. Awake, present and blooming. Continuously.
It’s not winter anymore. No more hidden sun. The sky will no longer be gray.
I’m blooming. Summer has arrived and will stay permanently. I’m in my radiant season.
This awakening wasn’t quiet. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t easy.
But it is mine.
And it’s the beginning of everything.
Re-Rooting
There’s a moment after the awakening when the real work begins. Not the life‑rush moment. The phase where you begin grounding yourself in who you’re becoming.
Awakening cracks you open.
Re-rooting asks you to grow deeper.
My soul was beginning to re-root even though everything inside me felt like unsettled soil. This was the beginning of my regrowing season.
RE-ROOTING MYSELF
Re-rooting meant planting myself again, deeper, intentionally, gently and honestly. It meant blooming differently than before. When the snow inside me had melted, I didn’t suddenly just bloom. I became a raw one, soft, exposed and unbound.
I had to sit with questions I had avoided for years. Questions that surfaced truths I had buried underneath motherhood, exhaustion, self-doubt and survival patterns. I was constantly over stimulated and over touched. I asked myself what parts of me were real and what parts were built from survival. I asked what dreams I had abandoned. I asked what kind of woman I want to become. These weren’t gentle questions. They were truth surfacing questions, the kind that make you pause and breathe through discomfort. And truly find yourself within.
IDENTITY UNFOLDING
Motherhood had shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand until I began searching for myself. Motherhood had stretched me and softened me, exhausted me and reshaped me. But somewhere in the chaos of raising multiple children, nursing a baby and tending to a home I had lost myself.
Re-rooting meant finding her again. Not the old me. It was about meeting the bloom phase of myself, the one emerging from the soil. I noticed small shifts that felt like identity unfolding. My hands wanted to create. My mind wanted change. My spirit wanted to bloom. It felt like each part of me was getting sun kissed to wake up, to follow the soft warm glow.
Re-rooting isn’t just about adding new things. It required releasing old emotional bindings. I had to let go of guilt, fear and belief that choosing myself meant abandoning others and the habit of shrinking or ignoring my dreams. I had unbound myself from habits that kept me small. Letting go felt like pruning, uncomfortable but necessary and freeing. Every release made space for new roots.
CREATIVE RE-IGNITION
As I re-rooted my creativity didn’t just return, it reignited. Pottery became my grounding and writing became my reflection, my expression and my new language. It was wild, unbelievable to watch myself bloom in multiple directions at once. Directions that I loved before losing myself. Digital, tactile and emotional. My hands and mind were finally speaking the same language again with the guidance of my soul. This was the moment I realized: I’m not rebuilding who I was, I’m blooming of who I’m becoming.
THE GLOW
Slowly the light inside me started glowing. Radiating.
The chaos inside me began to settle. Not into perfection but into alignment.
I started building Bloomedhands. I started writing again not for performance but for truth, for healing. I’ve always loved the feeling of my fingers against the keys.
I started choosing myself in small steady ways. My roots were growing deeper, my foundation was forming and my becoming season was fully underway.
CLOSING
Re-rooting isn’t glamorous. It’s quiet, gritty and intimate work. It’s the kind of transformation that happens when no one is watching. It’s sitting with your new self and learning how to hold her, how to tend to her. It’s choosing alignment over autopilot. It’s re-rooting your identity into soil that actually nourishes you. This chapter wasn’t loud like the awakening. It was slow, steady and sacred. And it changed everything.
Aug 8th