Blooming

THE AWAKENINIG: When winter finally melts.

There is always a moment in a woman’s becoming when the flower remembers how to bloom.

For so long, I lived in a kind of stillness that wasn’t rest. A pause that wasn’t peace. I was doing everything I needed to do, mothering, partnering and holding on yet inside I felt like I was watching my own life through glass. Present but not in it. Awake but not alive. My life was surrounded with beautiful chaos while my insides were nothing near chaos but frozen.

Then came the slap.

Not a literal physical one but an energetic one. A soul jolt. A shockwave. A sudden, undeniable awakening that hit me so clean and hard I couldn’t go back to sleep inside myself.

It felt like someone grabbed me and said:

“Wake up. You’re still here. You’re meant for more.”

That moment something bloomed.

THE MELT BEGINS

The transformation didn’t arrive as a dramatic rebirth. It arrived as a pure tempest.

Fast yet slow. Honest. Real.

I found myself reaching for creativity again. Pottery classes, clay under my nails. The hum of the wheel. The kind of messiness that feels like happiness. I started designing, letting the colors and shapes speak to me. The one thing I’ve always loved, my fingers against the keys. Words that’s been stuck for so long. Writing.

I started learning again. Tiny steps towards the person I am becoming.

It’s not glamourous. Not linear. It was water flow rushing, dripping, evaporating, and returning. But it was movement. And movement is a prayer being answered.

MAGIC

The awakening didn’t nudge me; it shoves me into a new chapter. A new reality. A new me.

It made me ask the question I had lost all hopes for.

“What do I actually want….is this all there is to me?”

I had been building for everyone else except for myself.

I know I had dreams buried deep under diapers, dishes, exhaustion and self-doubt.

I thought my voice was gone but it was waiting.

And I realized I was allowed to begin again.

SUMMER IS PRESENT

Today I’m in my bloom phase.

*A creative business that feels like home.

*A life that reflects who I am now not who I had to be.

*A home full of kids, sweet chaos, softness and growth.

* A version of myself that feels like me, is me. Awake, present and blooming. Continuously.

It’s not winter anymore. No more hidden sun. The sky will no longer be gray.

I’m blooming. Summer has arrived and will stay permanently. I’m in my radiant season.

This awakening wasn’t quiet. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t easy.

But it is mine.

And it’s the beginning of everything.